Now, I think politics is bullshit and I tend to ignore it as much as possible, as last time I took it seriously I almost gave myself a heart attack.
Under these circumstances, you might be tempted to believe that a girl like me does not give a rodent's behind about the current US of A political battle, as I only saw America in pictures and once for real during a two unbelievably short weeks holiday where I got to travel from New York to California, via Las Vegas. Nor will I have any reason to ever do so, unless, of course, Viggo Mortensen decides to marry me and bestow upon me his loving arms and his citizenship, for that matter.Well people, apart from this latter unlikely possibility, you're WRONG! Perhaps you underestimate the huge entertainment value of American politics. Easy now, I'm not saying that elsewhere politicians are less ridiculous or, god forbid, reasonable, it's just that in America they simply do it in such a grandiose style that I'll always applaud. I mean, can we, the rest of the world, ever forget Mister Clinton's affair in the oval office itself, when he swore that he never believed a good old fashion BJ might be considered a sexual intercourse? I mean, holy guacamole, anyone over 12 knows that any hole counts, for pete's sake!
What is really unbelievable for me is that none other than Madame Clinton, the loving spouse of the above mentioned saxophone player, who took one for the team during those golden days, posing that she is too committed to the idea of family (thus screwing up all my preconceptions of trust, love and integrity) not to forgive her husband sexcapade, well, she is now struggling with all her might for a job in the said oval office. [Wuuff, such a long phrase there.] Now, unless that job doesn't involve her long awaited revenge, by taking not one but two twenty-something latino interns under her "wings" and then leak the sex tape on the internet, for which I pledge to revert to my popcorn devouring ways, although 100g have about 500 calories, no shit, she won't have my vote. My metaphorical vote, of course. Also, while I'm here, you may want to change that hairdo lady, it's just boring, and you need to be a leetle more hipster in order to attract those young'uns. I happen to know a cool hairstylist downtown in Raval that will make you look dynamite!
On the other hand, Mister Obama is too nice and clean, I see no scandalicios potential there, but one never knows, he might be up for a big surprise. I mean, I would have never noticed him if there wasn't for the grand dame, La Oprah, and her unbelievably embarrassing cheezy Iowa speech. He sure knows how to make others do the dirty work for him. Check him in the video down below, in an interview with Ellen DeGeneris, where he does half heartedly that dance routine of his, declares that he's trying to quit smoking by chewing Nicorette (actually, it really works, I know a lot of people who got rid of that nasty habit with it) and, the best part, when asked what he's gonna do on his first day as president, he says he'll just sit at the oval office desk and say "Man, that's awesome", or something like that. Now, that is the truth and nothing but the truth, you gotta give it to him for honesty and sense of humor.
Yet, I can't help myself wonder what Hillary would do when she'll sit at that desk. Oh, the memories!
