3 posts tagged “writing”

Well, what do you know? All these shitty days brought a happy ending. That's right, folks, even I can't believe it but I finished the third chapter of my novel. I only have the last one left and it's probably gonna be the easiest one to write. I feel like I fought with the dragons and won. I'm exhausted, but happy. I managed to transform all the anguish I experienced into a creative frenzy that helped me finish this difficult part.

I feel dizzy when I think about it, but so far I have about 80 000 words! And they're all mine. I expect I'll be finishing it at the end of the month, by which time I'll have more than 100 thousand. Hope they're worth something.

I have to thank Sabrina, my flatmate, for the sunshine in my life. She singlehandedly resolved some electricity problems we've been experiencing the last two days, when we were left in the dark, with no possibility to charge my laptop. She really is a witch.

So, presented with the uncommon situation of not having access to my laptop, I spent a lot of time outdoors. I've been walking through here, on the left, and fed the ducks. That's not an euphemism for anything, it's just a pond with ducks right in the middle of Barcelona, by the seashore. One of them had babies, and they were leaning how to float. Aaaaa!

It's unbelievable how a small thing like this can change you perspective on life. All of a sudden I felt enlightened and glorious. I knew.

I feel the whole word is changing all around me, but I stay the same. For the first time in my life, I'm just a passive viewer, watching how most people evolve or barely straggle to survive. I manage to extract myself from this complex equation called life. No more drama for me, thank you very much. Let me just stay and enjoy the view. Sure, the view is not always enjoyable, nor entertaining, yet it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling of living among the living.

Let me explain myself to you, because I feel I'm being rather oblique. It's not that I don't care anymore, I do, I do, I do. It's not that I'm not passionate anymore, I am, I am, I am. Yet, I don't feel like involving myself in anything else but my business. Everybody around me has a sad or happy story to tell, has achieved or lost something, and all I have to say about is: that's life, mate. Don't sweat it! I can't help but wonder if this is finally me reaching wisdom, or just losing it slowly. Whatever. Look at me, laying in my bed with the laptop on my knees, listening to the new The Raconteurs album, Consolers of the Lonely, trying to understand the meaning of life. My life. (It suddenly occurs to me that I can totally be Jack White's groupie for a living. I could throw red rose petals on the path his beautiful yet slightly deranged feet grace the ground. I totally would, you know that, don't you?)

On the other hand, my writing is going swell, baby. The other day I wrote a passage I've been dreaming to write since last august. I've finally reached at that point! I can't believe it, I have about 70% of my book already written. Now, about that passage, it's describing one of the darkest, most disturbing, psychedelic states of mind of my hero. I wrote it in a cozy cafe by the sea, with people all around me, but I didn't even noticed their presence. In fact, I'm not sure I even breathed for about an hour or two, until I was done. But it was worth it, the final result is great. I didn't think I had it in me. (Probably that's why I was having murderous tendencies the other day. Something gotta give.) I've finally signed the pact with the Devil, folks!

Maremagnum caffee

    Finally, I feel whole again! Yesterday I spent the entire day in the house writing more than 8 (eight!!!) pages for my novel. They are probably the best pages I have ever written so far. I read them later on, and found them truly entertaining. Like I was reading someone else's book. I became so hooked to it, I am looking forward to read the rest of it. So far I have 33 pages in ms word and this weekend I'll finish the first part, so help me God, I'd say around 37. Than I plan to re-read the full chapter and make annotations and corrections.
    The new room is helping a lot. I feel more and more familiar with it, that's why I can spend so much time at home. Which is crucial! Also, I feel more creative and spiritual.
    I started to go out a little bit more. The other day we did a jam session with my sister and her boyfriend, he did the guitar and I did the voice. I've also started to play guitar a little bit, tree practeces and  I can already do easy but powerful stuff like knocking on heaven's door. I have discovered bob dylan lately (no, i haven't been living on another planet) and I'm very much into this guy now. I knew him before, I just couldn't get past his harmonica. It still pains me to hear it, but I'm more mature now, i can take it. For a girl who played classic piano for eight years, I was inculcated that this kind of music is proletarian shit. I'm glad I can think for myself nowadays. I'm also dangerously veering to The Left, to my surprise, but that's because I am a national minority in this country. There, I said it! What an ugly word!
    Anyway, my fingers hurt and I'm waiting for the guitar blisters to pass before I can play again. I'm proud of them, they are my "stigma". We might hit some amateur's stage one day, there's this cool place in Barcelona where the owner lets people play on the stage. I'm already thinking play lists, believe or not. I'd go for Radiohead and Muse stuff, but my sis bf definitely wants Jimmy Hendrix and Frank Zappa. Frank who?
    My sis and I came home walking and we bumped into a couple of guys who were steeling some bikes. They didn't give a shit we were watching them.  We  were drunk, but nonetheless our civic conscience was alert. We started to tell them off, stuff like they shouldn't be steeling from other people, it's morally wrong and than God will punish them. They said they couldn't care less about God, they were Muslims. And I replied that when they die, no virgin will be waiting for them, so they'll wank off for all the Eternity. They laughed and went away. We were happy we got away with all our teeth intact, but hey, we had to be good citizens.
    Anyway, I'm off to have a croissant and a coffee at one of these lovely terraces I have around my house here. I'll be finishing the last chapter, should anyone ask!

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